“Heh!” Song of the Day
Dave tells me about some weird shit sometimes.
I Spent My Last $10.00 (on Birth Control and Beer) by Two Nice Girls
When I was a young girl like normal girls do
I looked to a woman’s love to help get me through
I never needed any more than a feminine touch
I hated the thought of kissing a man it really was too much
I did not drink, I did not smoke I did not say “goddamn”
I was polite I was sensitive before I loved a man
My family, they were proud of me were proud of what I am
But then along came Lester and my tell of woe began
I spent my last ten dollars on birth control and beer
My life was so much simpler when I was sober and queer
But the love of a strong hairy man has turned my head I fear
And made me spend my last ten bucks on birth control and beer
It was June 1983 when Mary Lou and I did part
She said she loved another dyke my god, it broke my heart
I was bitter and disillusioned to lose another girlfriend
Lester came to work at Papa’s store and decided to ease on in
Before my last heartbreak nothing made me more sick
Than a hairy-chested, cheap double-breasted suited man with a hard dick
I guess that I was courios I guess that I was young
I guess it was that rum and coke I guess that I was dumb
For of course, for a woman to love a man she must also love to booze
If a woman don’t drink beside her man then she will surely lose him
As I sit in this hetero honky-tonk and reflect upon my past
I think about those girlfriends and why they didn’t last
For there’s certain thrills that lesbian love simply cannot supply
Like paying for abortions from sperm gone awry
And so I say to you my friends without this man I’d die
So listen to my tell of woe and hang your head and cry
Related posts:
4 Responses to ““Heh!” Song of the Day”
Additional comments powered by BackType
June 22nd, 2004 at 2:09 pm
LOLOL!! THAT is too damn funny.
June 23rd, 2004 at 8:16 pm
The weirdest part about this, is I did an open mic on Monday. The chick after me came up and did this song, I shit you not. We thought it was the funniest thing ever, and homegirl made the crowd sing along. So I’m at a table and my Philly-bred Jewish guitar player, my 50-something suburban Dee-troit dwelling parents, and my North Shore hicktown bred roommate A, and I are all fucking singing our hearts out to the chorus of this song.
Now that is weird, and so much weirder that you posted this. Fucking really weird, dude.
June 24th, 2004 at 8:16 pm
I can’t believe you’ve never heard that! I don’t know how I know it, I just do – I thought it was an old standard. Hrm.
June 28th, 2004 at 3:48 pm
I have the CD of this one. Every now and again I listen to it for a snicker.