Stuck in a Rut

Posted by Erica July 31st, 2003 • UncategorizedPermalink

I have a friend who used to be one of my Very Good Friends. I guess he still is, but I don’t see him much anymore. He was always one of my first calls when making plans. He was one of the first people I came out to.


We got into the habit of scoping girls together. Which is fine. On occasion. Now it seems like that’s all we ever have to talk about. Or all he ever has to talk about. Whenever I visit him, he regales me with his dating stories and shows me all these match.com pictures. The girls are invariably blonde and twiggy and he’s asking for my opinion and I say “not my type” on repeat (not that there’s anything wrong with the twiggy blondes of the world).

Isn’t this what his golfing buddies are for? When I met him, he was freshly separated, had just bought himself a penis car, and was generally a very nice, down to earth, fun to be around guy. Now he’s regressing. Maybe I’m being treated like “one of the guys” and I don’t like it.

It’s not like I couldn’t talk to him about other stuff. I’m sure we could have perfectly decent conversation over whatever I happen to bring up. It’s just never far away, especially when going to various bars is a staple activity of my visits. Every Lonetree Power Hour we attend: “hey, remember that girl at the beer bin with the really nice ass?” Yes. I remember. *sigh*

I sent a “how are you doing? here’s how I’m doing” email last week. I just got back his reply: “I saw Beyonce’s video today while at the orthodontist, the one where in one part she has the reddish orange baseball cap and jeans on……all I can say is move over Halle Berry. Is that hair of hers real?? Who cares?”

Since I don’t see him often anymore, I don’t really care enough to address the problem. But it still irks me.

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4 Responses to “Stuck in a Rut”

  1. greybird Says:

    Yeah, I’ve got a rut of my own story to tell. Thanks for the topic idea, maybe I’ll get around to it in the next few days.

  2. Empress Says:

    I used to have a friend who did the same thing to me. But I’m really, really married. I never did understand why he did that. I figured he had mistaken me for “one of the guys” as well. It would have been nice to just talk about the weather once in a while without fearing that at any second I might get a story or a picture of some woman’s boobs. It sort of wore me out.

  3. Kathy Howe Says:

    Oh that is sad. I hope he talks to someone…anyone about something more indepth than Beyonce. Too bad he has forgotten he can talk to you.

  4. Erica Says:

    Okay, I thought I was over it a little, but that Beyonce comment was the entirety of his reply. Jeebus. And then I thought that maybe since nothing particularly new or different has happened to either of us in a while that there just wasn’t enough to talk about. But I don’t have this issue with any of my other friends that I see with the same (in)frequency that I see him. And what makes it worse is he’s a fair bit older than me, and I feel like he should know better. I might not be so surprised if he were my age, but come on.

    Whew, okay. I’m calm.

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